For years, parents have struggled with the stigmas associated with mental health investment. Some reference their medications for anxiety and depression with hushed tones, ashamed for anyone to find out they need chemical help regulating their mood. Others shy away from conversations that may reveal that they see a therapist. And there are many others whose children utilize one or both of those, and they can often feel like that is a sign that they aren't adequate as parents. Of course, anyone with a reasonable understanding of the complexities of the human mind and body could say that there is no need to feel shame, embarrassment, or inadequacy in pursuing appropriate support to deal with mental health hurdles. But some of these age-old and cultural ideas can affect how parents view the support they seek out to address the issues they identify with their kids. These ideas can lead parents, especially those who feel educated and experienced but drained at particular unwanted behaviors, to assume or hope that a professional can "fix" their kids' issues.
I can't tell you how many times I've heard from therapists, counselors, and coaches the same story. Basically, a parent reaches out because they don't know what else to do, and in some form or fashion ask the clinician or professional to "fix their kid." When the parent is challenged to consider changes to home structure, relational interactions, or modeled behaviors, they can become defensive, offended, or simply withdraw and opt not to continue with services. If only there was a magic tool or trick to solve behavioral or mental health struggles! But real progress and healthy growth take time, sacrifice, and investment. I realize that for some parents the idea of homework can feel overwhelming, especially if they are already feeling drained from their current circumstances. It is important to understand that a little extra work, some strategic investment, and a bit of sacrifice now will provide healthy returns later. Consistency and hard work will make things easier in the long run.
Therapy is great. The research that guides best practices serves to provide the tools needed to help many people address issues that they struggle with and to treat many psychological disorders like anxiety, depression, and many others with varying severity. But therapy can only go so far. Much of what a therapist does besides applying psychotherapeutic interventions during sessions is helping clients to make adjustments to their daily environment and relationships that promote greater mental health and stability. This is because they recognize that a person's environment is vital to their ability to cope with, respond to, and process their experiences. This is why many professionals take time to speak with parents about strategies and ideas that can be applied in the home to help kids address their behavioral or developmental issues. One session usually isn't enough to really gauge the effectiveness of an intervention, and it's important for parents not to let these conversations scare them away from the counseling, therapeutic, or coaching experience. Obviously, professionals should be vetted based on their education, training, and experience, along with testimonies (when possible) of prior clients' success.
My advice? Do your research on the potential professionals and the services they offer. Be open to the work that may be suggested or recommended for your case. Realize that sometimes families need coaching support to work on home structures, expectations, and developmental considerations. Sometimes, individual members or families may need therapeutic intervention by a licensed clinician to address specific limitations. Regardless of what your needs may be, don't shy away from the work it may take to achieve the goals you have or would like to set. Not sure where to start or don't know what type of professional you need? Feel free to reach out for a free initial consultation and we can discuss what type of support would be best for your family.
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